another year is done. well almost, it's just 3 days to go before 2005 kicks in. so i decided to do what everyone else is thinking (or already is) doing. it's kindda lame but this is after all MY BLOG so i da damn well whatever pleases me.

i liked this year WAY better than the previous ones (with the excpetion of 2002 and 2000). One, because i particularly like my age. 16. it's a sweet number. i remember thinking, like ten years ago, that by the age of 16 i should have a steady boyfriend. how completely naive. come to think of it, i was pretty romantic when i was a kid, i mean come on, who wasn't????
second, i have pretty much established my identity. I no longer felt compelled to follow what society dictated, i could do whatever i want with my life. ofcourse i had to follow certain rules, but as long as i didn't hurt anybody, everything was well on it's way.
third, i have great friends who would back me up no matter what happens. i'm not gonna get mushy with this, i juat am simply stating a proven fact. they are the kind of people who, when i do something completely stupid won't think that i've done any permanent damage. i'm surprised they've stuck with me for so long...awww i love ya guys!!!!
fourth, i have 3E. that's enough reason to enjoy 2004.
fifth, i found myself busy. i'm a self-confessed workaholic. idleness is a state i often find myself in, but which i don't exactly enjoy. SANDIGAN was a handful. i mean, whoa!!! plus, there was school and chruch service which i HAVE to attend to.
on a lighter syd, gael had two mpvies this year which hit it big!

i like someone. again.

only i like him for strange reasons. one, is that we hardly get along and two, is that he is everything i don't want. here's a poem dedicated to him. it's by pablo neruda, the best poet in the fucking universe.

I LIEK FOR YOU TO BE STILL
Pablo Neruda

I like for you to be still
It is as though you are absent
And you hear me from far away
And my voice does not touch you
It seems as though your eyes had flown away
And it seems that a kiss had sealed your mouth
As all things are filled with my soul
You emerge from the things
Filled with my soul
You are like my soul
A butterfly of dream
And you are like the word: Melancholy

I like for you to be still
And you seem far away
It sounds as though you are lamenting
A butterfly cooing like a dove
And you hear me from far away
And my voice does not reach you
Let me come to be still in your silence
And let me talk to you with your silence
That is bright as a lamp
Simple, as a ring
You are like the night
With its stillness and constellations
Your silence is that of a star
As remote and candid

I like for you to be still
It is as though you are absent
Distant and full of sorrow
So you would've died
One word then, One smile is enough
And I'm happy;
Happy that it's not true

i think, for the first time, i believe in signs.

what happened more than a month ago made me paranoid. if walking down your own avenue wasn't safe, what is? i never thought anything like that is capable of happening to me. of all people, me.

i've only walked down the same road alone once after that incident.

i told janine about IT after it happened. i never thought she'd be so protective of me. she wouldn't let me go down teh bus again. she said it wasn't right that a girl like me be walking home alone. i shrugged, thankful for her concern.

against her command, i went down to deposit money to the bank, but before i could even step out of the bus, she made me promise to take a trike and to text her when i get home. i said i will. i didn't.

i was halfway home when i saw janine standing at a corner eating. i made up some lie that i wanted to get a cheaper fare by walking half the way. i don't think she bought it.

the next time i did it was yesterday. Janine was sleeping so she couldn't NOT let me go. my ATM wasn't workintg so i spent like twenty minutes in the bank trying to get it fixed. the lady there told me i had to get it replaced right away. i told her i'll try other branches. five minutes into the walk, the school bus caught up with me. i couldn't refuse. i woke Janine up and told her my ATM was haywire. big mistake. she found out i went down alone yet again.

She didn't ride the bus today so i saw this as a chance to get my weekly exercise. besides, i was also under strict orders to go down and get the ATM fixed by my lola. so i was walking, walking, when another school bus (same owner) stopped and asked me to get in. i told them i had somewhere to go and it was perfectly fine. three seconds later and a trike slowed down behind me. Janine's in it.

she dropped me off infront of the phase four gate with me giving my word that i'd take a tricycle home. i couldn't. i needed to think and being alone, going at my own pace, was the best therapy i could ever get. on my trip home i thought about the whole thing. how fate works. how much effort the universe had put into my safety. i wasn't meant to walk home on my own again.

I can't believe we ACTUALLY won! OH MY GOD!!! it's been TEN LONG YEARS since we tatsed the bittersweet taste of gold.

Of course this wouldn't be possible without the leadership of our council president, Ron, who didn't give up on us or lost his temper infront of everybody. and to everybody involved, Kudos to you!!!

i could have sworn we sucked big time. i could see from the faces of the pep squad leaders that they were dissappointed with the volume of our voices. we lost all hope for glory after our turn.

fortunately, the results contradicted my opinion. we got two minor awards, Best Entrance and Best Bleacher design. the night before the competition ,the p&d's spirits fell when they saw the bleacher design of the seniors. they had this humongous eagle that was incredibly intimidating. i only stayed until around seven that night, and from what i remember, the production team was still having problems regarding the boat that they had to crack into two pieces.
Ms. Barts, our HE teacher, promised us we'll have the best entrance EVER... and we did!!!

We also got two MAJOR awards, Best Cheerleaders and of course, OVER ALL CHAMPION. I went wild when i heard they called out our name. i hugged everybody in sight and started doing my special crazy dance!!!

I'm just really happy! the competition was tough especially since we were seated opposite the seniors and we saw how amazing they were. Seniors got the Best Squad and Best band which they thoroughly deserved. i was kind of dissappointed the Best Mascot didn't go them.
my mom and my ate watched and they said it was REALLY fab this is only the third time the Juniors won as Over All and i'm grateful it was our batch that got that honor.

i can't believe we ACTUALLY